Flinch.

flinch 
/flinCH/

Verb Make a quick, nervous movement of the face or body as an instinctive reaction to fear

I've done a lot of flinching these last few days.
Flinching from Connecticut.
Flinching from fear.
Flinching from death.
Flinching from decisions.
I'm uncomfortable. Are you?



Currently, I'm sitting on a couch, in a big, warm house. I have a raging headache, and I probably shouldn't be staring at the computer screen. But I'm waiting. For something big. Something big that'll never come.
But despite the disappointment today was, and the agony this last week has been, I have a lot of things to be grateful for. I have safety, I have life. I can't ask for more.