Sunday, June 23, 2013

i can only hope

It is officially summer! Yay!
The last day of school was tough for me. June 20th marked the last day I would be a student at the school I've been attending for the past few years. It was a tough decision, one that hurt. The last time I'd left a school, I'd been given the promise that I'd see these people again, empty words to comfort a hurting 5th grader. The time before, I was oblivious, little 2nd grader me thrilled at the prospect of homeschooling.
But because I'd been at this school for so long, I'd created connections with a few people I love and have come to appreciate. Not many people, but enough to make me cry. After playing at graduation and saying goodbye to my adopted older brother, I walked out into the pouring rain and cried and cried and cried.

While I was told, "Don't worry, I'll see you again", "We'll stay in touch", and "We'll always be friends, I promise", a side of me embraces that hope, that silly feeling of "I can't lose these people, surely". But I've lost enough friends while being there that it seems fleeting, and there was a side of me that kept saying, "You won't see them again. You won't see them again. You won't see them again. They don't care that much. You won't see them again."
 I'm reassuring myself that I will. I've made some good friendships and some wonderful memories with some gorgeous and fantastic people.
 I'll hopefully still visit. I'll go to concerts and performances and stay in touch with people.
I can only hope