I'm sorely lacking in optimism. I'm lacking in a lot of departments though, and one of those is talent.
Personally, I consider myself having a lot of talent. I can write and play the flute and piccolo like a pro, but that's not going to help me much later on in life. The five instruments I play might get me a scholarship to college but probably not much beyond that unless I go to Juilliard which would be freaking awesome but it's not exactly on my agenda for the future. The writing may get me farther. I want to publish someday and that on my resume in the next three years before college would be so boss. But having lasting friendships and lots of optimism would be the best but I don't really have many of those.
Sure, I have friends. I have wonderful friends. I've known one of my best friends for practically longer than I've been alive, but ever since, I've been losing more friends in gradually more and more painful ways than gaining good friends. Which is kind of like a *stab* *twist* feeling.
A few weeks ago, I had the most unusual person touch my life. And they way that person did it was in such a different way than anyone else had. That person just sat. And played the piano until my tears just washed away, sang me a song that lifted me up and encouraged me and I listen to every day now.
But still. I want that again. I want to be lifted up in the arms of music to cry on it's shoulder again.
And I wonder if I will still be friends with the piano player after I leave next year and separate from all the people and all the things I've known.
When I leave, who will stick with me?
Will anyone stick with me?
This can only be tried in chance.